You scowl and turn up your nose at my presence in the cab next to you,
You change the music station from local music to your cultural selections.
Without knowing your history, knowing your place, knowledge limited, information...few,
You constantly judge my RACE, assuming my situations are my limitations.
Well here's some free information for you... Mam, know your place...
Of the 3 RACES I fall in the esteemed category of NEGROID, a position I hold dear,
On top my head, growing lustrously, tightly curled (nappy some might say) is my beautiful hair.
My dark skin, narrow ears, prominent bone structure, makes me a sight to behold.
Upright I stand, head never bowed, seeking my history... what has yet to be told.
CAUCASOID you damn well ain't, cause this race don't even have a written history,
When asked the time-line of this race, to prove their case, they revert to Greek mythology.
From the Caucasus Mountains (hence the name Caucasian) their sketchy history usually begin,
Neglecting to mention in most history books, that Albino they were born (of African), their blood now gone thin.
One other race left to briefly dissect, by golly I hope you belong somewhere there,
But due to the geographical history of the MONGOLOID race you fall neither there nor here.
Asians are what they are usually classed because of physical characteristics different from my own,
But again, where the hell they came from? Dropped from the sky? Materialized? 'Grown'?
So you see mam, I can take myself back to the beginning of time without getting lost,confused,
Even the Holy Bible (whatever version you choose to read documents my existence), but most times misused.
So when you see me, turn up your nose and try to degrade me by referring to me as NIGGA,
Please note to yourself, you're a sub-race - of which there are many - and the word is not NIGGA... but NIGER.
Over the past few years, but more now than ever I have been confronted with snide remarks, racist comments, and
uneducated commentary from folks who think because they belong to a certain 'race' that they're more superior than I am. This is just a short commentary to put things straight.
There is NO East Indian race
There is NO Dougla race
There is NO Chinese race
There is NO Hispanic race ect.
FIT IN WHERE YOU FALL IN.
Race is most times used out of context when people are referring to Culture and Ethnicity.
So here I am once again, being literal, Expressing myself, having fun... why be so critical. My notes and statuses have nothing to do with you, You not important enough, did not make an impact... educated contributions, few.
Instead of going through my page at every chance you get, Get off your arse, do something productive, instead of looking for things to fret. Open-minded as you say you are about most things, Your opinions are warped, twisted at best, like your word is law...you the king.
Patience God did not bless me with much, unfortunately, Getting tired of your nag, lies, inconsistencies, to often, to many. So take some time, sort out yourself, figure-out what you want, Then if I'm still available, I'll reconsider it... but remember, the deadline is a month.
A dispute between 3 types of politicians, all from a different Political party, About who can clean-up crime the fastest, 'lets set up a competition and see.
A manicou was set free in a forested area, 'I'll get to him first', they all said, Gathering up books-on-crooks, spears, guns..into the forest they all sped.
The first - a fellow of distinguished parentage, questionable language, questions animals/plants on his list, Not understanding much of what he asked, they all told him, 'manicous do not exist'
The second dressed in saffron, looking like a fools fool, searches but couldn't find a clue, So he decided to burn down the entire forest - evidence, hints, even the poor manicou too.
The third gentleman dressed dapper, red flower in flap, walked in and out within an hour, Behind him a badly bruised deer shouting 'please no more, I'll be your manicou, no need to excercise any more of your power'.
I'll try to be as diplomatic as I possibly can, But sometimes it's wayyyy better utilizing the hand. Pent up anticipation, went suddenly flatline, When you were expected to play, you ignored the sign.
Let me back-up a bit, go back to square one, You boasted about your prowess, you said 'second to none'. Judging by your physical structure, hands and feet, Not a doubt was raised, ecpexting BONE, flesh and meat.
Utter dissapointment, couldn't believe what was uncovered, It's like having a huge livingroom, a small center table... laughter, hard to be smothered. Nevertheless, never one to totally judge a book by it's cover, Maybe under it all, might have some hidden talent waiting to be discovered.
No Christopher Columbus you were (couldn't even rediscover already inhabited territory). Still going hard at it, sweating, panting, insisting on regaining a sense of glory. This is me now o_O, ???!!!???, surprised, amazed, thinking 'poor soul', After all this anticipation, excitement, passion...He still went for the WRONG HOLE!!!! O_O
Panty-ville is experiencing some technical difficulties, sorry for the inconvenience, We've become bombarded, overloaded with lies...our services are out of compliance. Due to the economic down-turn, cost-of-living up-turn, demands can no longer be met, Unfortunately maintainence cost, marketing strategies... have not even been discussed yet.
You see... our services are one-of-a-kind, exceptional ....our business far from unique, But unlike others on the market, we demand quality, give quantity... competitive, hard to beat. Over the years, as service providers, valued clients have benifitted from our luscious wealth, But as any other business, it needs to be reciprocated, not left with the dirty hand it was dealt.
Maintainence - we took pride in, depending on the season, we 'cleaned' or mowed our lawn, Giving in to whims and fancies, discomfort, All to be treated like what??? A PAWN? All that was required from our 'esteemed' clients, was loyal and faithful patronage, But I guess that was too much to ask, when across the street temptation lured and held you hostage.
So from hence-forth Panty-ville is no longer tolerating delinquencies, we're letting go of unfaithful clients, We've revised our policies, procedures, SELF COMPLACENCY, we re-did our Vision and Mision Statements. Gone are the days when a simple word or gesture would open the doors of business to you, As we said before...Panty-ville is closed, we no longer require your patronage, clients we want...NEW.
One who's serious minded... and have no time to play.
He must be well spoken, manerism proper,
Dress neatly, adores me... and no other.
At night, he must be available to give me massages... with scented oils,
Body to body, chocolate-covered strawberries, wine, silk sheets, never to soil.
Fingers well manicured, toes pedicured, face neatly trimmed,
Body rigid, muscled, toned ... mmmmmm..... solid, but still somewhat slimmed.
He must have proper bathroom etiquette ... please turn down the seat,
After showering - on the bathroom tiles, for goodness sakes.. no print of feet.
Breakfast in bed, lunch on the table, Dinner and a movie a regular occurance,
The perfect host, the admired guest, confident, he needs no assurance...
BUT WAIT!!!!......
What am I to do with a man who's always serious minded. .. and has no time for play???!!!
Then we'd live such boring lives, no sense of humour .... geez ... a recipe for a longer day.
And well spoken is not such a bad thing, but let me hear a lil swearing once-in-a-while at least, Adoration is also nice, devotion sweet, but a lil competion will be cool... intensify the heat.
Well manicured and pedicured, toned, rigid, muscled... what perfection,
But if I really need that, I'd buy a maniquin or get a doll... and pull him out on ocassion.
As much as I want to him to be firm, clean shaven, model material at best,
I don't want to get bruised, or feel like a wall - instead of chest - pressed against my breast.
SOOOOOOO!!!!......
I'll take you as you are, loud, crass, bowl-faced an all,
And ask the Lord for patience to deal with your attitudes/attributes, be it big or small.
But remember to a woman's heart nothing works better than romancing,
I still want to experience lines 5 & 6, added to that, some jewelry and midnight dancing.
How do you move on from past misfortunes when it pops up at unexpected times? How do you deal with reality, when against you people have committed atrocious crimes? Do you forgive, forget and move on with your life? Or do you face the issues, consequences no matter the price. How do you live when all you want is love, compassion, honesty? But instead, is being hurt, compromised, and made to feel filthy. Is it me, my actions, my personality, that brings this out...I'm confused? Despite all else I try to give honesty, passion, but still end up used and abused. I know that I am partially to blame for some of my mishaps, Wrong choices, loneliness, desperation perhaps. Emotions I try to keep at bay as best as I can, By not dealing with them, not facing them, until I come up with that perfect plan. Putting them in a box, in a closet, on the top shelf, way to the back, But I guess that closet has become over-filled, everything spilling out,all on the rack. What was hidden is now visible on my face, In my demeanor, my attitude, I no longer portray that subtle grace. Words are harsher, persona harder, heart ice cold, eyes lifeless, Not trusting, not believing, not accepting that despite all, my life is priceless. That in itself is another issue God has decided to test me with, Making it painful, unbearable, fearful of physical interaction in case I get hit. Daily activities I once took joy in completing, even when complaining, Has now become a task, a struggle, a fight...there's pain, Lord too much pain. I question if He hears me, if He loves me, is this punishment for sins in the past? If he wants my humility...if it's just a phase? How long can I endure, how long will it last? Not able to verbally express.......Mental stability.....hmmmnnn...question??? Emotional meltdown, physical breakdown...no longer living my life with that passion. God please hear my cry. I'm asking...begging.....to just let it end, I have transgressed, this I know...or just give me the strength to re-start, to mend. I know you never give your children more than they can bear, But I am toeing the line..of my own thoughts, I have this great fear. So much have been forcefully taken away, have been lost...torn away from my me, I know this is not the way it's supposed to be, I want back my life...I want to hold on, can't you see?
So I met this guy in a club the other night... The way he spoke to me made me step back, look at him, boy did that give me a fright. He was looking good from the shoulder to the waist, But his head was in a 2020 style, from his waist down...man...was just a disgrace. Shoes matching a color in his hair, jumbo classes on his face, age below average, All was put on the back-burner when he decided to amuse me...matter of fact...confuse me with his language.
He said "bay-bay, ah was looking at you an said WTF, Yuh be ah angel ah get ah stiff one, look down ah holding meh 'co.." Ah man dey vibesing yuh, yuh bussing style...BWDMCIT.... Yuh be ma darling, before d night ova ah gone give yuh ah big special kiss. LOL, just wah spend some time with yuh, get to know yuh inside out, Opps meh padna calling meh...BRB...BTW...ah hope yuh from south".
So off he went with his psychedelic self...to the bar to get a drink, My mouth still open...looking on in wonder...'I hope he don't come back' I think. Thought wasted... before I could make a move to leave, here he comes with company, Another character.....good grief....this getting weirder... looking like somebody nobody. I brace myself for the onslaught of nonsensical conversation, too polite to run away from, I looked left..then right...seeing a friend I signaled her to save me...'to come'
"Ma bay bay...ah see we doin d double datin ting t'night, Here is ma horse...lol... I see you got yuh bitch everyting tight an arright. We drinkin fire wata..wah yuh havin boo?...lemme quess...ah stag, Look like yuh go have to go get yuh own drink, if yuh want ah culd hld yuh bag. LMAO...I just kicksing, bad man doh hold oman purse, OMG..ah want tuh piss, Imma git yuh dis rounds... next one on you and yuh bitch, still waiting fuh da kiss."
Staring in wonder, my friend turned to the side...looked me dead in the face, 'Woman!!! you must be tripping, thinking I going and hangout with this unappetizing lump of disgrace." Grinning from ear to ear the guy looked as if he just got a compliment, While his friend bowed his head, took a step back, on his face....visible embarassment. To top it off Mr. Psychedelic pulled out a cigarette, lit it there and then, 'Lemme blow yuh a kiss, a smokey heart, to chille yuh uptight arse', he said to my friend.
'I doh see waz d fuss about, allyuh oman like t make t'much style...is ah simplistic ting, Dressin up like dat an doh expect man tuh holler...as if ah asking to give yuh ah ring. I man just on ah level vibes WTF......I black...you black...no need to ben-an-screw, Cheupss....gettin on like yuh all that...me, I done here yes...I goin an look for another crew.' Now what the hell was that, I did not understand half of what he said, I guess this it the new way to communicate...less sensible words...more abbreviations instead.
**** A HEAD **** - Which must posses a logical, intellectual BRAIN.... Open to new ideas, to constructive criticism, to knowledge.
**** EYES **** - Able to see what is visible and look for what is not..... Must not be clouded with the mucus of the ignorant and 'blind.
**** NOSE **** - To smell the fragrance of God's creations.... Not to be turned up in disdain at life's uncertainties.
**** LIPS, TONGUE, MOUTH **** - To be used as instruments of pleasure, education, elevation.... Not an instrument of deceit and lies.
**** NECK **** - The keep the head that posses the brain, upright with pride despite......
**** SHOULDERS **** - There to be lent as a 'prop' in times of need, want.... And to accept congratulatory pats. (modestly of course)
**** CHEST **** - Strong, reliable, able to protect whats inside.
**** HANDS, ARMS **** - Open to give a hug, hold.....Gentle enough to offer strokes of pleasure, comfort , intimacy.... Yet strong enough to offer a firm grip of support.
**** HEART **** - Open to accept the unseen, the questioned, the goodness of the Lord.... Forgive, love....appreciate what is most times taken for granted.
**** BACK **** - Upright and able to accommodate the numerous 'knives' that are sometimes plunged in it.... And still be as gracious and sensitive as ever.
**** SPINE **** - Straight, Strong, Resilient... Spine made of BONE....not tooth-pick.
**** BUTT **** - Prefer it not bigger than mine..... But a lil cushion never hurt before.
**** PENIS **** - To be used as responsible recreational, entertainment, and reproduction purposes..... NOT TO THINK WITH. (Quality and class over Quantity...if you know what I mean )
**** FEET **** - Well planted to the ground... Willing to tread that long, narrow-winded road (bare-feet if need be)
**** TOES **** Well PEDICURED.
**** PERSONALITY **** - Sense of humor, sensitive, kind, genuine, stable... An asset...not a liability. Willing to compromise as much as compromising another.
I want to be with you but...... I need to think about it so..... You want to stop it...CUT... You need to be real....NO... Words and warning sign, Yet we persist on being blind.
When locked in togetherness, the world is perfect, We fool ourselves and say 'this is real, this is a gift'. STOP, STEP BACK, look through anothers' eyes, What was so evasive, just got cleared up, as our own heart cries. The lies, the truth, the inuendos, the facts, Only helps to confuse...logic aside, emotions just act.
Kisses once passionate, the words of undying love our tongues spoke, Intimacy once fulfilling, when over, we roll over, get up...poof...gone up in smoke. Tests that were never there before, seem all so prevalent, But when questions are asked....we make it seem irrelevant. Always available to chat and make each other smile, Suddenly we have so many things to do, communication will be cut for a while.
Yet we try to hold on, creating our hero, our king, our queen, Settling for lesser than what was intended....our soul-mate, our dream. We then question our choices, doubting our judgement, second guessing what is, Trying to distinguish fact from fiction, logic from emotion, confusing....is this a quiz??? Chances are taken, heart is then open, we say 'it is what it is'..is it? Wanting that feeling, that ultimate satisfaction of being hit by love..bit by bit.
Fairy tale lives, they say have no place in the real world, We get hurt, get up, dust off..and continue persuing our goal. Why is it so difficult to be honest with ourselves in the game we call love? Only making it more difficult, frustrating, asking unnecessary questions from the Man above. Hiding, lying, pretending, procastinating, fooling, controlling.... When we only need to know the truth, what is expected....each other knowing.
We then get our lives entangled in a web, undesirable at best, We beat at ourselves, angry at failing our own stupid egosistical test. Angry at the world...mostly at the opposite sex, When it's we ourselves who put us in this -OUR- uncompromising mess. Heart hardened, scarstic outlook, looking for a better way, But we suffer our own consequences, pay the price, for THE GAMES WE PLAY
You may write me down in your little black with your bitter twisted lies, You may trod me in the very dirt, but still like dust I RISE.
You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, You may hurt me with your hatefullness, but still like air I RISE.
You may condemn and judge, and treat me for a while like a prize, You may suffocate and hate, but still like helium I RISE.
You may pierce my back, my heart, assuming a gracious and loving disguise, You may assault my emotions and my pride, but still like hope I RISE.
You may do anything you want to do, tilt my boat till it capsize, You may try to bring me down, turn me around, but still like steam I RISE.
You may strive on my insecurities, look at past faults, and theorize, You may assault my ambitions, but like the sun, still I RISE.
You may assume me to be anything but a priority, your intentions you need to revise, You may trample, and stamp, bury me in the ground, but like the holy spirit still I RISE
(built around the first verse, which I heard in a song)
He's the one I can rely on, To let me know when I'm going wrong. He's there for me when I thought I didn't need him, Been at my side, when things were tough - through thick and thin. Never failed to let me know when I messed up, Sometimes he's a bit harsh...but I won't ever want him to stop.
There was a point when helplessness stepped in and started taking over, But he'd hold me in his arms and say...'never give up babes....never'. From his ambitions I find inspiration and motivation, From his experiences I get solace, experience desired optimism. Always one to lend a a word of advice, always honest at best, His time is never to precious, he always express his interest.
Nothing is difficult for him to do, nowhere too far to go, When I'm on my emotional breakdowns, his only advice 'take it slow'. Never one to judge my associations, affilliations, or otherwise, He'd be there to help celebrate, or pick up the pieces of my shattered life. Tears of pain, hurt, anger, with him I have not experienced, Just joy, laughter, filll my life, with his mere presence.
With all the praises heaped on him, he's no saint, mind you, At times he pisses me off...because what he says most times comes true. Modesty he always portrays when I look upon his face, But I know in his mind it's 'I told you so' he says. Nevertheless, on any given day he can be looked upon for solid advice, To be be my advisor, my confidant, my Best friend ever so wise.
It seems he's been there forever, and will be there forever after, To pick up, help build, protect, comfort, and share bundles of laughter. A friend like this is to cherish, treasure, and hold on to for all your life, To give to, as much as has been given, without a murmur, or feeling of strife. Relationships may come and go in the blink of an eye, But our friendship is worth more than that, it's not something you can buy.
So in case I neglected to tell you recently, I'm doing it now, I appreciate you, I love you (although I sometimes feel to tell you to mine a cow). Just kidding...Without those words of encouragement don't know where I'd be, I thank God for you, for me being able to accept what has been said and finally see. To your family I also give kudos...'cause no man is an island, you are not alone, My FRIEND FOR LIFE you have been good to me, never far away, just a call from my phone.
Everything was perfect, life was good, She got everything that any woman should. House, car, baby on the way, Hopes and dreams of life still better than today. Then suddenly things took a turn for the worse, From having it all, to no money in her purse.
Hospital saw her more times than not, There was a place in the ward that was reserved 'her spot'. Pain, tears, 'What's going on???', Not even the experts could say what was wrong. Prayer and family is what got her through, She left after a few weeks...still broken...but somewhat anew.
Reflection, Contemplation, Evaluation as well, How can she get the bad images out her head. Determined and persistent to correct the wrong, Questions were asked as to what could be done. 'Forgiveness is the way to improvement' they said, Armed with this advice...with a smile she ventured ahead.
Education, work, quickly followed, Things began to look up....it no longer seemed hallowed. Love was a distant and elusive dream, She settled for less....hmmnnnn...you know what I mean. As expected it was nice but fortunately short lived, So much was taken away, there was nothing more for her to give.
Then one day, unexpectedly, out of nowhere he came, Ambitious, Passionate, as Driven as his name. Persistent, Egotistical, Unrelenting in his pursuit, Strong, Open-minded, and down-right 'frigginly' cute. With hurt, anger, distrust put aside, She dived head-long, with a peaceful and open mind.
Disaster once again struck in the wink of an eye, Credits go to another driver....a young, inexperienced and timid guy. Bruised ribs, fractured writs...she got banged up a bit, But the worse was yet to come, it was worse than that hit. 'Terminal' and 'Illness' two words she never paid no mind, Now it's being said 'your illness is one-of-a-kind.
Given circumstances, relationship gone bad, But he's always there, will always be there...the best friend she ever had. Determined to be optimistic and as positive as can be, She visits 'homes'...and says 'wow...that could've been me'. Renewed and with a brand new sense of purpose, Her health, her life, her well-being..now her focus. God, friends, family, strangers, loved ones, Has been her inspiration, strength, purpose to go on.
THERE'S A LONG ROAD AHEAD...HER JOURNEY HAS JUST BEGUN, BUT THE HORIZON NO LONGER SEEMS UNREACHABLE.
I love you...I don't even know you.. I want you....But I don't need you... You inspire me, indulge me, motivate me, transform me, Give back to me what was taken, opened my eyes and allowed me to see.
Your touch is tender, your kisses makes me surrender, You eyes piercing, yet I still can't help staring. Your breath like feather...softly, intense, rough...changing rhythm like the weather, Your arms so strong, smooth....fingers....hmmnnnn....always puts me in the mood.
When we meet, the days seem not to matter, When we touch, every time it gets better, and better, and better. I long for the feeling....of not wanting to let go of that feeling, Of being lost, body, mind, soul...oh I'm still trying to understand it's meaning.
Loneliness is pleasurable with just the thought of you, Desire is fulfilled with the sound of your voice...you know what to say and do So comfortable with each other, fantasies explored, We talk, laugh, are bold, curiosities no longer ignored.
Fulfilling not only sexual desires...but complimenting each other mentally, physically, spiritually, Knowing each other to detail...intensely, intimately, Are you a figment of my imagination...are you a mirage...am I? or is it US? Nah....it's you who have been an oasis of serenity amid chaos
No complications, no expectations....just perfect symbiosis No crying, sighing, regrets.....just pleasurable moaning when we kiss, hug, hug and kiss. I was not looking for you, yet in you I found, A best friend, a lover, a mentor....when no one else was around.
From the moment two bodies intertwined and united, We exchanged fluids, chromosomes, DNA...we were so excited. Passion fulfilled, breath still rapid, extatic, we lay in each others arms, Holding on tightly, kissing lightly, not realising...but basking in the afterglow...calm.
From day one YOU began your journey..what a race you had to run to be the one, On the 6th day YOU can safely say 'I MADE IT'....Implantation has begun. From then to day 22 YOU've been rapidly developing, tree previously planted, fruit now sown, Heart begins to beat, blood begins to flow, type a bit different, from my own.
At week 3, your organs began to take shape, backbone strenghten, spine straighten, YOU want your presence felt, YOU give subtle twitches, reminders of what happened. By week 4 YOU're 10 thousand times bigger than when you first started, Week 5, eyes, hands, legs development.....open, waiting, slightly parted.
YOU've begun to think on your own now, your brain waves are detectable, Only week 6 and you've showed me that small as you might be, this feeling is possible. Now you want to challenge me, show me you're kicking and swimming, Such a short space of time, week 7...how rapidly this is all happening.
Week 8 - I can now sing to you, talk to you, and know you can hear my every word, my every song, Every organ is in place, bones begin to replace cartilage, and fingerprints begin to form. Teeth form, fingernails develop. YOU can turn your head, and frown. YOU can hiccup, 9 - 10 weeks already. I'm so anxious to see you, from the amazing size of my belly I can't look up.
YOU can 'breath' at week 11, a visible skeletal structure, YOU can clench your fists, YOU aquire nerves, circulatory system...and to top it off, you surprise me with your first piss. Now I have to be carefull because at week 12 you can feel pain, vocal chords complete, 14 Weeks, and you're pumping blood like crazy, sucking your thumb, grasping...how sweet.
YOU've developed adult taste buds at week 15, YOU weigh about half pound, YOU benifitting from it also cause at 4 months you're about 8 - 10 inches long. YOU dream at 17 weeks, eat more at 19 weeks, at week 20 YOU recognize my voice, Months 5 and 6, you decide to be extremly active, grasping, hicupping, you now got choice.
At 7 through 9 months it's your busiest time, your eye teeth are present, YOU open/close your eyes, YOU're using four of the five senses (vision, hearing, taste, and touch.) I think your eyes even cries. YOU know the difference between waking/sleeping, and can relate to my every mood, my every strive YOU're getting impatient, you want to get out, I want to see you, my precious GIFT OF LIFE.
2009 was exciting, motivating, hurting, interesting, 2010 is fast approaching...time for some drastic 'HOUSE CLEANING'. The attitudes, bad habits, indiscretions of the past months, Needs to be laid to rest, for anticipating the finer things of our needs and wants.
Those dirty 'socks' that are indiscretly placed on my floor, Need to be thrown away, I'm not washing them anymore. Any straying feet are no longer welcomed here, All trampling days are over...we don't want it near.
That favorite 'shirt' that's loved to be worn on specific occassions, No longer impresses me...look for another prey...invent another mission. No ignorant hands are welocmed here, No abusive behaviour will be tolerated....we don't want it near.
Those 'hats', 'shades', 'jewelery' all need to be gone, They no longer disguise mentality, dishonesty, personality... posessing none. Deceit, trickery, evil ways are no longer welcomed here, All Unkind days are over.....we don't want it near.
The 'pants' that are hanging on the wrong side on the closet rack, Take it to the laundry...pay them to disperse of it...don't even take them back. Rediculous 'swanky' ways are no longer welcomed here, ALL unambitious ways, not impressive....we don't want it near.
Those 'gadgets' - old, new, modified - that are scattered far and wide, All gone, the manuals left...take a read...broaden the intilllect...gain some pride. No illiterate, ignorant, ways are welcomed here, No pretense, no inadequacies... we don't want it near.
The 'books' on the shelves just laying there like trophies...out they go, Given to charity, to friends, who will use it, make sense of it...not just have it for show.. Tardiness, procastination are no longer welcomed here, No more excuses...no more put-downs...we don't want it near.
This is a general cleansing of house, body, mind and spirit, Needed to be done in order for things to go my way...as I see fit. The untidy clutter of 2009, has come to an end, Looking forward to clean premises in 2010.
I wonder if he knows how I feel about him tonight? How his mere presence makes me want to take off in flight? The sound of his voice, though mild can calm a storm, The feel of his breath against my flesh, feels so good, nothing can go wrong.
His eyes say what his mouth can't express, His tongue speak loudly, with just a simple caress. Lips so pure, kisses away the doubt, Leaving me wanting to experience the full effects of his mouth.
Standing next to him, not touching, but oh so close, I can feel his strenght, invisible arms around me, love this is, I suppose. Looking up at his face, just peaceful, maginficant, pure, I can almost see a halo, is this it, are you the one, am I sure?
Hands slightly brushing against each other, pretending not to notice, Sending shivers up my spine, we did not plan for this, do we want this? Emotions - because of pride - not free to be expressed, Feeling completely naked if front of you, though I'm fully dressed.
Hardly around, you move from time zone, to time zone, Not missing you though, you're always with me, barely notice when you're gone. Intimacy: a long anticipated, awaited, longed-for, elusive, experience, Yet still I feel as though you've had me, tasted me, it don't even make much difference.
What we have is beyond anything I've ever been able to share, It's more than intimacy, more than love, it's undefined, we truely care. Always near to my heart...yet we're so far apart, How do we get to the other point? How do we really start?
Do you remember when you added me to your profile? It was the 21th July 08....Oh how time does fly. We chatted about mundane topics, made jokes, flirted, I went to bed with you on my mind, though at the time I was committed. Got up in the middle of the night to look at your pics, Quickly minimized the page when my GF got up to get her nightly fix.
Waited by the computer all day for you to log on, Time took so long....did not see you that day, was something wrong???!!! Message in your inbox, and your email in case you missed one, Still no response for 3 days, lost my senses, rationalization I have none. Regretful that we did not exchange phone numbers that first day, Then I would've been able to call, hear your voice, make sure you were ok.
FINALLY!!!! After a week you appear online once again, My hands are shaking, excited to chat with you, my chest is in pain. Couldn't wait for you to relax and say 'hi', I got on my keyboard and mistakenly typed the words 'bye'. Feeling stupid I logged off immediately and waited while, Got back on and played the silent game, feeling lika a nervous child.
Downloaded your pics as the screensaver on my PC, Laptop and iPhone, I look at them when I'm down, then I don't feel alone. Want to meet you so bad, after 3 weeks of chatting, But you told me 'no, leave it just FB, besides I'm already dating.' I felt hurt betrayed, how can you do this to me, thought I was the one, So all this chatting on FB was nothing but innocent fun?
I dug through your profile, your friend's profile for any clue as to who you are, Finally saw some pics of you...hanging out at a popular bar. AH HAAA!!!! Now I know where I can 'accidentally' meet you, face to face, Hear you laugh, touch your hands, hope you wear that nice top, the one with lace. GF telling me I'm neglecting her, neglecting my appearance, She don't know that I found my 'true love' just want to be in her presence.
So I waited on Thursday, Friday and Saturday at that same spot, Dressed to kill, smelling great, rose in hand, clothes don't have a wrinkle...not a dot. 3 weeks later of the same routine, no sign of her no progress, Ah getting damn impatient...keep wasting my time...ah getting vex. To top it off the bitch blocked me off her profile don't know why, All I ever did was send her love poems daily, ok...3 times a day, is that a crime???!!!
Trying to email but it coming back as a failure notice, She deleted that too...and called the police. I simply wrote to her exactly how I feel, In no less than a 1000 words...I came out clean. Whats wrong with that? I being an honest boy, I love youuuuuu so much, and you played me like a toy.
NOTE:- As funny as this may seem it actually happened. Some of the incidents have been modified, but the purpose of this note is to remind ourselves that anything uploaded can be downloaded for anyones' perverted entertainment. And once linked to an account, be it through a mutual friend or third party 'deleting' or 'blocking' won't stop someone from locating you on the net if they really wanted to.
*H* - Health, Wealthy and strength was granted to me, *A* - Attitudes changed, perspectives broadened, wide so I can see. *P* - Prayer, I've learnt - no matter the lock - is the key to success, *P* - Pulchritudinous - possessing great beauty - my inner happiness. *Y* - Yesterdays misfortunes, today's lesson's, tomorrow's accomplishment,
*N* - Negativity profound in the air, still will not deter, will not be my judgement. *E* - Eternally grateful for friends, family, and foe alike, *W* - Wondrous their contributions in my life...though some I may not like.
*Y* - Youth as Beauty is in the eyes of the 'beholder', *E* - Eternally I will live on, not only a memory...but a mentor. *A* - Attitude have grown, for knowledge, wisdom and understanding, *R* - Rational in my behavior, great things will happen ARE happening.
The past year has brought with it fear, turmoil, pain, anguish, Along with it experiences, and people I will always cherish. Looking back now, the Lord has been good to me in spite of, I've gained emotional strenght, peace, contentment, and genuine love. My faith had begun to wither through trying times, I must admit, But with loving parents, great siblings I've learnt to be humble and sometimes submit. All-in-all I have no regrets, none whatsoever, none at all, This year the Lord has granted, me has made me RISE, RISE, RISE above it alll.
HAPPY NEW YEAR to one an all, 2010 here we come...we gonna have a ball.
*H* - Health, Wealthy and strength was granted to me, *A* - Attitudes changed, perspectives broadened, wide so I can see. *P* - Prayer, I've learnt - no matter the lock - is the key to success, *P* - Pulchritudinous - possessing great beauty - my inner happiness. *Y* - Yesterdays misfortunes, today's lesson's, tomorrow's accomplishment,
*N* - Negativity profound in the air, still will not deter, will not be my judgement. *E* - Eternally grateful for friends, family, and foe alike, *W* - Wondrous their contributions in my life...though some I may not like.
*Y* - Youth as Beauty is in the eyes of the 'beholder', *E* - Eternally I will live on, not only a memory...but a mentor. *A* - Attitude have grown, for knowledge, wisdom and understanding, *R* - Rational in my behavior, great things will happen ARE happening.
The past year has brought with it fear, turmoil, pain, anguish, Along with it experiences, and people I will always cherish. Looking back now, the Lord has been good to me in spite of, I've gained emotional strenght, peace, contentment, and genuine love. My faith had begun to wither through trying times, I must admit, But with loving parents, great siblings I've learnt to be humble and sometimes submit. All-in-all I have no regrets, none whatsoever, none at all, This year the Lord has granted, me has made me RISE, RISE, RISE above it alll.
HAPPY NEW YEAR to one an all, 2010 here we come...we gonna have a ball.
