PANTY-VILLE......CLOSED!!!

Panty-ville is experiencing some technical difficulties, sorry for the inconvenience,
We've become bombarded, overloaded with lies...our services are out of compliance.
Due to the economic down-turn, cost-of-living up-turn, demands can no longer be met, Unfortunately maintainence cost, marketing strategies... have not even been discussed yet.

You see... our services are one-of-a-kind, exceptional ....our business far from unique,
But unlike others on the market, we demand quality, give quantity... competitive, hard to beat. Over the years, as service providers, valued clients have benifitted from our luscious wealth,
But as any other business, it needs to be reciprocated, not left with the dirty hand it was dealt.

Maintainence - we took pride in, depending on the season, we 'cleaned' or mowed our lawn, Giving in to whims and fancies, discomfort, All to be treated like what??? A PAWN?
All that was required from our 'esteemed' clients, was loyal and faithful patronage,
But I guess that was too much to ask, when across the street temptation lured and held you hostage.

So from hence-forth Panty-ville is no longer tolerating delinquencies, we're letting go of unfaithful clients,
We've revised our policies, procedures, SELF COMPLACENCY, we re-did our Vision and Mision Statements.
Gone are the days when a simple word or gesture would open the doors of business to you,
As we said before...Panty-ville is closed, we no longer require your patronage, clients we want...NEW.

THE PERFECT MAN

• All I ask is for the perfect man to come my way,
• One who's serious minded... and have no time to play.
• He must be well spoken, manerism proper,
• Dress neatly, adores me... and no other.
• At night, he must be available to give me massages... with scented oils,
• Body to body, chocolate-covered strawberries, wine, silk sheets, never to soil.
• Fingers well manicured, toes pedicured, face neatly trimmed,
• Body rigid, muscled, toned ... mmmmmm..... solid, but still somewhat slimmed.
• He must have proper bathroom etiquette ... please turn down the seat,
• After showering - on the bathroom tiles, for goodness sakes.. no print of feet.
• Breakfast in bed, lunch on the table, Dinner and a movie a regular occurance,
• The perfect host, the admired guest, confident, he needs no assurance...
• BUT WAIT!!!!......
• What am I to do with a man who's always serious minded. .. and has no time for play???!!!
• Then we'd live such boring lives, no sense of humour .... geez ... a recipe for a longer day.
• And well spoken is not such a bad thing, but let me hear a lil swearing once-in-a-while at least, Adoration is also nice, devotion sweet, but a lil competion will be cool... intensify the heat.
• Well manicured and pedicured, toned, rigid, muscled... what perfection,
• But if I really need that, I'd buy a maniquin or get a doll... and pull him out on ocassion.
• As much as I want to him to be firm, clean shaven, model material at best,
• I don't want to get bruised, or feel like a wall - instead of chest - pressed against my breast.
• SOOOOOOO!!!!......
• I'll take you as you are, loud, crass, bowl-faced an all,
• And ask the Lord for patience to deal with your attitudes/attributes, be it big or small.
• But remember to a woman's heart nothing works better than romancing,
• I still want to experience lines 5 & 6, added to that, some jewelry and midnight dancing.
• :-D